23 January 2014

Permissible But Not Beneficial

First, I'm enjoying the study on Made to Crave (M2C) byLysa TerKeurst through the Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study. It is affirming another book I am working through called Lose It For Life (LIFL).

In LIFL, the writers mention once we turn 21 we are adults and can do WHATEVER we want. We can smoke cigarettes. We can have sex. We can go where we want and when we want. HOWEVER, many of these things cause problems. Just because we can doesn't mean we should. 

Let's talk about the issue with sex. Just because our parents are not hovering over us doesn't make having sexual relationships outside of marriage beneficial.  In my personal experience, many years ago, it left me feeling empty. I wanted to be loved so bad! There wasn't any security. The guy can go anytime he wanted and never hear from him again. No accountability. No responsibility. Emptiness. Rejection. Then there's the moment of complete desperation and fear no one would ever love me that I settled for someone who poured all kinds of physical attention on me. We did marry and we did divorce. That's my personal experience! It's a miracle I didn't contact a disease!! That's the other down side to sexual relationships that aren't in a sealed, committed marriage. Both men and women run a HIGH risk of getting a sexual disease. Another goes back to responsibility. What if a child is born? The "un-beneficial" could go on and on. Just because "we can" doesn't mean "we should". There are emotional, physical, and spiritual consequences to the mentality of "I'm an adult and I can do whatever I want!". Just because it is permissible doesn't make it beneficial.

Now, I'll move to food. I'm 36 years old. I work for a living. I earn my money. Why can't I eat whatever I want to eat? Oreos are delicious! Nutella on waffles are a delight! Oh ... those chocolate chocolate chip muffins from Sam's are to DIE for! Then there are the potato chips. And the cheese sauces and dips. Oh the dinners a church can throw! Along with ice cream socials!! Thanksgiving and Christmas, oh, so delicious! I'm a good girl. I'm a single mom. I give up so much for my children and for God. I do all these things so right! I quit drinking alcohol years ago because I saw the path I was on. I've never smoked. I haven't ever abused drugs. I haven't been with a man since the divorce .... since the kids' dad. Why can't I have something that taste good? Why can't I have some pleasure?

Well, here's the problem. Just because it is permissible doesn't make it beneficial. You see ... heart disease runs in my family and so does diabetes. In 2012, I lost 50 pounds on Weight Watchers Online. Life happened and I lost interest, lost my drive to want to. I gained it ALL back in 2013! I actually had a scare over the week end, thought I had gained more!! Turns out it was the swelling from being sick. Over the week end, the scale said 268. This morning (1/22/14) the scale said 261. I'm tired. I'm cranky. My mother is worried half to death I'm going to have a heart attack any day (my brother did have one at age 42). Just because I can eat whatever I want doesn't mean I should.

Food isn't evil. It's needed to nourish our bodies. There's nothing wrong with enjoying what we eat as long as it is in moderation. Food is a gift from God to us! 

As far as the comment about how much I already sacrifice for my children and God ... Truth is ... God wants what is best for me! He wants my heart to be healthy and my blood sugar to be under control. He wants me to live the days He has numbered for me to the fullest. If I don't make changes, I won't get to do that. I may not live to see my daughter get married. I may not live to see my son graduate. The benefits of changing ARE far better than the the consequences of this mentality "It's my body, I can do what I want!" Just because it is permissible doesn't make it beneficial to me ... to God ... to my two beautiful children ... to my poor mother!

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.
Hebrews 12:11-13 (NIV)


  1. Great post and I love your transparency! You are right - God wants us to have boundaries in our lives and your blog was a great reminder of that. Yes, so much is permissible but not beneficial - and we pray that God will show us daily the difference between what is 'allowed' and what is 'good'. Thank you for sharing your journey and I am praying for you along the way! Isn't it great that our loving father God wants the very best for us!

  2. What a great verse! I'm going to print that one out. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Hi- thanks Vivian for giving us a look into your life. I also have read the "Lose it for Life" book and it has some wonderful ideas. Your comments about just because we can eat it does not mean we should- they rang so true with me.

  4. Thank you for posting. I look forward to praying and a using Hebrew 12:11 and 1Corinthians 10:23 as a powerful tools in our journey to health. Make a great day!

  5. Don't mess with my Oreo's, just kidding :) How true your statements are. And the verse fits perfect with this study, glad it was shared in our group.

  6. Hi Vivian, so glad you've linked up to the hop today! You make a lot of great points here, but one that really stood out to me was: "He wants me to live the days He has numbered for me to the fullest. If I don't make changes, I won't get to do that." Powerful truth statement. We like to believe, or the enemy likes to have us believe that when we deny ourselves all these permissible things, that we are missing out on living to the fullest, but like you said, it's the opposite, we are limiting our experience of and with God when we partake in things that are not beneficial to us. Thanks for sharing and blessings to you on your M2C journey.
    Katrina Wylie (OBS small group leader)

  7. Great job in sharing Vivian!! I learn so much from you ladies and love growing with my Sisters in Christ. You are so right with your point you hit above. I am feeling #Empowered after reading how God is working and how each of the ladies in Blog Hop are yearning to #CraveGod more and 1st in each life~ Love ya! Cindy M. OBS Small Group Leader-