05 February 2014

Delighting In Obedience?

Is THAT even possible? To "delight in obedience"?


When the kids' father and I divorced, we "dated" for a little while afterward.  I use the word "dated" loosely. There was a part of me that wanted to put our family back together.  I wanted to provide my children with a "whole" family ... complete with Mom and Dad ... Dad and Mom.  Then something happened that scared me to death!  The kids' father and I had sex. Yes! You read that right!  We had sex outside the bonds of marriage.  The little voice inside my head kept saying "It's ok. He was your husband. Aren't you still married in the eyes of God?"  Then there was another voice. A disappointed voice ... "You AREN'T married now."

For 3 days God did not talk to me.  Want to know what Hell on Earth is like?  Folks, I can tell you!  It is not hearing God's Voice.  Not being in God's presence.  It is a black moment when God is hurt and disappointed.  I cried. I begged. I pleaded.  When God opened up to me and spoke, it was stern, "matter of fact", and to the point.  "Who provided means for you to get your car?  Who provided you means to purchase much needed clothing? Who has put a roof over your head and food on your table? Who provided you the job you have? Who has opened the flood gates of Heaven and poured out blessings on you and has showered you with true love?"

Now, to some ... that might not sound like God.  If you ever read the book of Job, you'll find a Voice just like that! God will be honest with us!  At that point, I didn't care about how He sounded like a stern Father or a jealous Lover!  I was so happy He was talking to me!

I had a problem.  How would I get out of the tangled mess I was finding myself in?  How was I going to avoid becoming the woman of "yesterday" again?

Obedience!  Complete surrender of my desires ... that desire to be in a physical relationship.  That desire for "me to fix my family".  ALL my thoughts about what a perfect family is and should be surrendered.

I delight in obeying God because I have found when God says "Don't do ?????",  He is looking out for my best interest!  I have found when God says "Go ahead, do ??????", He is looking out for my best interest!  Obeying God isn't about ALL  this list of things I have to give up, it is about trusting God knows better than me.  I have also discovered when I disobey God, I find myself in a world of crazy mess!  Sometimes its not even the story I have described.  It can be as simple as allowing the busy to take over my prayer life.  I had that happen not long ago and my reaction at the end of the day didn't reveal a woman who walks in delightful obedience to the Living God! I'm not sure who that woman was THAT day! Some kind of ugly!

Now ... what I talked about at the beginning of this post IS  a long time ago! I'm not defined by that moment. Even the other day when "the ugly" came out, I'm not defined by that moment either. However, I'm at a new place.  Food and entertainment do not define me either!!  God is calling me out to trust Him and lean on Him even more!  I will delight in obedience to God's will and desires because He IS trustworthy, IS faithful, and DOES know what is best for me.  It's time to surrender the gods in my life that keep me from experiencing the full Presence of God. When I find myself in a stressful situation and I choose whatever food is available to consume for comfort, that is me by-passing God and choosing food over Him.  When I have had a long day and I don't want to deal with what is going on at home and I choose to lose myself in several episodes on Netflix, that is me by-passing God and choosing entertainment as an escape instead of sitting at the feet of Jesus and finding rest.  God is now saying "Vivian, it's time.  It's time to take our relationship up several steps. You are able to do it! I've been with you through many other hard patterns to break and I WILL be with you now. It's time. I want to tear down the idols on the shelf of your heart."

I was only going to share part of Isaiah 55. However, the whole chapter is more fitting! If you don't have time to read the whole thing, read the the bold parts:

“Come, all you who are thirsty,
    come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
    come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
    without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
    and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
    and you will delight in the richest of fare.

Give ear and come to me;
    listen, that you may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
    my faithful love promised to David.
See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
    a ruler and commander of the peoples.
Surely you will summon nations you know not,
    and nations you do not know will come running to you,
because of the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel,
    for he has endowed you with splendor.”
Seek the Lord while he may be found;
    call on him while he is near.
Let the wicked forsake their ways
    and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them,
    and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

As the rain and the snow
    come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
    without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
    so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
    It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
    and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

You will go out in joy
    and be led forth in peace;

the mountains and hills
    will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
    will clap their hands.
Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,
    and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the Lord’s renown,
    for an everlasting sign,
    that will endure forever.”


  1. You are so encouraging to my heart, Vivian! thank you!

  2. Thank you for sharing from your heart and your walk with our Lord.


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