28 August 2013

Controversial Topic

Dear fellow Christians, be warned you may or may not like this post. 
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Not long ago, we had a singing group come to our church. Enjoyed the music! At the end, the leader said something that made my spirit cringe. He was upset that a church somewhere in our region was trying to decide if homosexuals should be in church leadership. How he is against it.

First, the homosexual ACT is a sin BUT so is a man and woman having sexual relationship outside the bonds of marriage. Second, not only is the act between a man and woman outside of marriage a sin, so is lusting after the other gender! 

When God says it is wrong, it is wrong no matter how we humans color it. 

With that said, if a man is "gay" and he has accepted Jesus as Savior and Lord of his life and submits his sexuality to Christ on a daily basis and say "Vivian, please pray for me because this is a struggle but I want to live a life pleasing to God"; I'd rather have THAT man in leadership than ...

THIS man: a man who comes to church every time the doors are open, grins, praises Jesus, condemns all manner of sin, appears to live a Christlike life (serves at a soup kitchen or takes the offering on Sunday morning attends and participates in Bible Study) BUT on Friday night slips out to the bar to pick up a woman for a one night stand and never, ever confesses to a single soul this is his struggle.

Who do you really want in leadership of church? The man who admits he is weak in the flesh but desires God's Spirit to be in control OR The man who refuses to surrender to God's desires? 

You see, I am divorced. I have been single again for almost 8 years (will be September 16th). In that 8 years, I have struggled. I've done somethings I'm not proud of, with each one, God showed mercy. I was a lost, rejected woman! I was gradually slipping into some old comfortable habits. God rescued me from myself! He didn't wait 4 days either! He swept in like a hawk! Swoosh! Everyday I have to submit to Him the desires of my flesh. Over the past year, since my Emmaus Walk last September, I have felt a freeing of the lustful desires. I still get lonely at night from time to time. Back in the Winter, God asked me "Am I enough for you?" Phew! That was the BIG turning point! Everyday I feel less and less of my desire and more and more of His desire. 

Am I perfect? Lord know I'm not! haha Oh goodness ... No. I struggle and I'm free to struggle. I'm not in the struggle alone! 

Technically, since I'm divorced (a divorced woman at that!), I shouldn't be in leadership. I shouldn't be Sunday School Chairperson.  I shouldn't hold a local license in the Church of the Nazarene. I'm so glad God doesn't go by technicality! I'm glad God goes by what is in the heart!! Know what else, I'm humbled by the evidence of God's grace that my church family sees in me. They see me in a different light than I see me! God is so MERCIFUL! 

Who am I to cast a stone of judgement at a brother or sister who struggles? When God has shown me such grace! When God has shown me such mercy! 

Jesus, fill my heart with Your mercy that I may show mercy! Forgive me when I stumble in showing mercy when it is needed most. Bend my heart to break for what breaks Your heart! Amen

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